Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
