does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
