My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
