I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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