went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
