I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
