I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
