we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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