i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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