No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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