just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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