I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
two words...techno handjob
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
