i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
