So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
