I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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