I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
