I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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