1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
