hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
