so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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