His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
