The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
