About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
