I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
