Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
