Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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