she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
