"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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