Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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