Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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