i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
