Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
