butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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