Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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