Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
