Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
