what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
