Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
