Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
