Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
