Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
