her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
