you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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