I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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