I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
