She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
