put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
