Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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