There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
