We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
