OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
