He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want to fling myself into the sun
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
