I think i peed on brittanys purse
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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