counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
